ESFJ Communication Skills

In communication, ESFJs are practical, concrete, and at the same time supportive and responsive toward the needs of the other party. They are certain of their reasoning and they want others to share it. ESFJs keep to a soft, but assertive communication style. They are clear sticklers to following communication standards and rules accepted in their circle or community.

ESFJs have a fairly wide social circle including friends and acquaintances, e.g. people they have met during their travels, or at entertainment events. Many people like to converse with ESFJs about various issues of a practical or day-to-day nature, as well as about their impressions and experiences.

Business communication of ESFJs is intense and for the most part deals with solving practical problems, often related to management. Usually they are apt at on-the-fly communication on immediate practical tasks. However, such topics as scientific discussion or very technical ones can fail to elicit a strong response from ESFJs.

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ESFJ: Strategies for Successful Communication

Conversations between ESFJs and people with a similar mindset, or in other words, with sensing/feeling (SF) personality types such as ESFJ, ISFJ, ESFP, and ISFP, come at ease. People in this group have roughly the same way of apprehending the world as this type and therefore ESFJs find it easy to share their feelings and experience with other SFs, and in turn comprehend their feelings or views on events, or their experience.

When conversing with sensory/thinking (ST) types such as ESTJ, ISTJ, ESTP, and ISTP, it's preferable for ESFJs to keep to a method of communication based upon experience, concrete things and their direct consequences. As a rule, ESFJs find it fairly easy to adapt to this method of communication, despite the fact that for a proportion of ESFJs it can feel somewhat “dry” because it does not touch on feelings. But when it comes to people from the ST group, this method fits their way of thinking well, so they easily comprehend it.

When conversing with people of intuitive/feeling (NF) types such as ENFJ, INFJ, ENFP, and INFP, ESFJs need to keep to a conversation style that can be easily understood by both parties - i.e. it has to be based on feelings (F). Note that to some ESFJs it might be difficult to converse on topics where abstract perceptions or theories are significantly involved, but which make up the basis of thinking for many representatives of the NF group due to their intuition (N) preference. When communicating with NF people, ESFJs try not to go into great detail about theories, but instead focus on their possible practical use.

ESFJs may encounter difficulties communicating with intuitive/thinking (NT) types such as ENTJ, INTJ, ENTP, and INTP. When communicating with people in this group, it is best for ESFJs to keep to communication based upon logic and concepts, i.e. the communication method most understandable by people in the NT group. The problem, however, lies in the fact that it might be difficult for ESFJs to maintain a dialogue in this way. This situation may lead to ESFJs trying to wind down the conversation, or causes them irritation at the other party being “remote”. In order to maintain an acceptable level of communication for both sides, ESFJs should try to tune themselves into a style of communication that suits representatives of the NT group.

 How to determine which personality type group another person belongs to?

What helps successful communication for an ESFJ:

  • The topic includes feelings and emotions
  • The topic touches on issues around practical solutions
  • The topic mostly relates to concrete, ongoing issues
  • The topic requires that action be taken

What hinders successful communication for an ESFJ:

  • The topic mostly relates to abstract, theoretical issues
  • The discussion requires searching for hidden, unobvious possibilities
  • Long communication with people from the NT group

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