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ESTJ Communication Skills

In communication ESTJs are open but often demanding. They expect others to fulfill what was discussed and agreed upon, in due time and in the proper manner. ESTJs most often embody this attitude just as well toward themselves.

ESTJs are usually not comfortable with situations requiring especially good people skills, e.g. being particularly delicate or patient. Their open and direct proclamation of their principles and intentions may sometimes hurt the feelings of the more feeling types (F) or provoke strong resistance on part of other leadership-oriented people who may have a different opinion.

ESTJs often find it hard to express themselves when they have to talk about finer feelings: such topics as love or lyric poetry may not produce a strong emotional response in them. However, they are usually actively involved in events and gatherings that involve expression of feelings and emotions, such as feting persons of extraordinary bravery, or in charity events.

An ESTJ will normally have an extensive circle of friends, colleagues, and contacts they make during such events as receptions, meetings, entertainment events, and recreational activities.

An ESTJ's business communication is likely to be active and frequent. Their colleagues (or others who work in the same field) are often reliant on, or interested in, their competent opinion of counsel on professional subjects. Their business communication usually involves an exchange of opinions, as well as a discussion of management issues and practical solutions.

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ESTJ: Strategies for Successful Communication

An ESTJ finds it easy to establish a common ground with people of sensing/thinking (ST) personality types including ESTJ, ISTJ, ESTP, and ISTP. These types have a similar way of perceiving the world. For the most part, they keep their communication to facts and their direct implications. ESTJs find it easy to share their experience and observations with other STs, and are in turn are receptive to their experience or opinions.

ESTJs should communicate somewhat differently with the representatives of intuitive/thinking types (NT) including ENTJ, INTJ, ENTP, and INTP. They should rely on conceptual and logical communication in their interaction with these types. ESTJs can usually adapt to this manner of communication easily enough, but they may sometimes have to struggle to find the sort of argumentation that resonates well with ST personality types. It can occasionally lead to an ESTJ keeping just to the topics that both parties can relate to.

There are certain nuances to how ESTJs should communicate with the representatives of sensing/feeling (SF) types including ESFJ, ISFJ, ESFP, and ISFP. ESTJs should strive to keep communication with these types to concrete, tangible things and experience. This type of communication is easy to engage in for both parties. Some ESTJs may find it difficult to discuss finer feelings, but they are what forms the basis of how the SF people perceive the world. In these cases ESTJs may just want to keep the conversation within a topic that both parties can relate to.

ESTJs will find it the most challenging to communicate with intuitive/feeling (NF) personality types, including ENFJ, INFJ, ENFP, and INFP. ESTJs should emphasize concepts, ideas, and feelings in their interaction with these types. However, ESTJs find it taxing to construct a dialog in this manner. They have to strain in order to find argumentation that people from this group will understand, and thus often try to keep their communication brief. In order to establish a level of discussion that both parties will find acceptable, an ESTJ has to tune into the communicative style compatible with the NF group in advance.

 How to determine which personality type group another person belongs to?

What helps successful communication for an ESTJ:

  • the topic deals with practical solutions
  • the topic requires that active measures be taken
  • the topic mostly deals with concrete, tangible issues
  • the topic requires a clear understanding of how events unfold as well as of their logical interconnections

What hinders successful communication for an ESTJ:

  • the topic relates to abstract and theoretical issues
  • the topic has to do with the finer feelings of the soul
  • prolonged communication with people from the NF group

Read more about communication strategies »

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